Dating can be nerve racking, which is why we at HowAboutADate.com believe in activity based dating to avoid the pressures and awkwardness of traditional dating.  Although you may be doing an activity that you’re both passionate about, there still need to be conversation.  Some conversation may come naturally and flow while other times may have some “awkward” moments.  I’ve provided several topics and tips below to help you spark a good conversation and keep the ball rolling!  It’s important to note though that you should never ask really personal questions or dig around someone’s past relationships on the first or even 2^nd or 3^rd dates.   If someone wants to talk about their past relationships or really personal things they will bring it up themselves.

This article also goes hand in hand with an earlier article I wrote on The Importance of Communication.

Tips:

Keep the conversation moving but don’t pry into anything personal or the past

Don’t vent or get carried away with certain topics

Don’t just wait for your turn to talk, be genuinely interested in the conversation and person

Topics:

Where have you traveled or want to travel?

Do you enjoy your job? What do you do? Would you rather be doing anything else?

Where is your favorite hangout?

What are some of your hobbies or interests?

What type of music do you listen to?

Do you have any siblings? Are you close to your family?

What’s your favorite movie of all time (or one of your favorites) and why?

Do you have a nickname and what’s the story behind it?

These topics are all good for conversation but there are plenty more out there.  It’s good to avoid questions that can have a “yes or no” question as those can easily cool off a conversation.

You can find more tips for communicating and dating in my article Just the Tips of the Iceberg.

Arthur G. Bahr

Social Instigator for...

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Do what you love... and love will find you

Since we've become so reliant and dependent on mobile devices, which allow us to text and avoid personal interactions, sexting has grown to become one of the largest ways of modern day flirting.  "Sexting is the act of sending sexually explicit messages and/or photographs, primarily between mobile phones or devices." -Wikipedia

Ultimately, sexting is the next evolution to phone sex.  While there isn't the same verbal interaction, people are able to turn each other on from anywhere and use their imagination to fulfill their sexual desires.

There are two main forms of sexting, one is text and the other is via pictures.  It's important to note also that if you're going to be sending pictures of yourself to someone you should either have an extremely trusting relationship or try to leave your head, or any recognizable things, out of the photo.

Teenagers have begun sexting which has caused a large amount of commotion over pictures being leaked and other information.  Phone apps such as "Snapchat", which allows you to take a picture that will be erased up to 8 seconds after the person opens it, has allowed for teenagers to exchange all sorts of photos and messages without any backlash.  It's important to sext responsibly!

Sexting is a great way to spice up a relationship or let someone know you're interested in them.  The goal of sexting is typically to encourage a future sexual interaction with the receiver.  It has helped maintain a sexual desire in busy relationships and is encouraged between couples.

The trick to sexting is to tease; you want to add in sexual intentions without being to forward or up front.  It's important to turn the person on and not creep them out.  I suggest adding some creative humor to compliment the sexual comments.  Be descriptive but don't include too much detail, let the person's imagination have a little fun.

Sexting can be sensual, romantic, and descriptive.  A good sext will hit on several of these areas.  Some people even use the "**hugs**" kind of approach and will sext something like **wrap my arms around you and kiss you slowly** in which the ** ** indicate an imaginary action that the two of you are participating in. 

Some good sexting examples can be found at http://sextingexamples.org/.  There are several examples of different approaches in the comments.

Now that you understand the background and basics it's time to test it out!

Happy sexting,

Arthur G. Bahr

Social Instigator for...

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Do what you love... and love will find you

A perfect date can come in many forms, but the outcome is always the same- connecting with someone in an intimate environment. When people describe a perfect date, it usually revolves around feeling some sparks and feeling a connection to the other person as well as the environment you guys are in. There are so many different places that you can go to in San Francisco that provide intimate settings, but here is our list of favorite restaurants to take your date out to!

If you're feeling... FRENCH

L'ardoise Bistro

151 Noe St
(between 15th St & Henry St) 
San Francisco, CA 94114
Neighborhood: Duboce Triangle

If you're looking for an environment which is wonderfully cozy and intimate, check out L'ardoise Bistro. They serve up some of the most delicious Coq au Vin and Filet Mignon in town. Finish it all off with a nice glass of champagne to woo your date.

If you're feeling.... ITALIAN

Allegro Romano

1701 Jones St

(between Broadway St & Glover St) 

San Francisco, CA 94109

Neighborhood: Russian Hill

If you're looking for something intimate and away from tourists, check out Allegro Romano. They serve up some amazing pastas including the White Truffle Tortellini with Pesto featured above, as well as other authentic Italian dishes such as Lobster Ravioli and the crowd pleasure- Willie's Favorite. Finish it all off with a full-bodied glass of Zinfandel to call it an evening.

If you're feeling... ADVENTUROUS.

Burma Superstar

309 Clement St

(between 5th Ave & 4th Ave) 

San Francisco, CA 94118

Neighborhood: Inner Richmond

If full flavor is what you're looking for, check out Burma Superstar. Burmese cuisine is a cross of Thai and Indian cuisines, and features some of the most delectable flavors for the palate. The sesame beef is pictured above. The rainbow salad, burmese style curry and coconut rice are noteworthy, and the music really adds to the intimate atmosphere.

If you're feeling... like DRINKS and TAPAS,

Alegrias

2018 Lombard St

(between Fillmore St & Webster St) 

San Francisco, CA 94123

Neighborhood: Marina/Cow Hollow

If tapas and drinks are what you're looking for rather than the whole dinner, check out Alegrias. The paella is a customer favorite and is featured above, and their sangria is also worth mention. They also have Manchego cheese flambe! This is a perfect place for a romantic tapas date.

If you're feeling... like a FANCY BURGER (AND A GOOD ONE AT THAT)

Umami Burger

2184 Union St

(between Webster St & Fillmore St) 

San Francisco, CA 94123

Neighborhood: Marina/Cow Hollow

If a savory burger is what you fancy, Umami Burger is the place for you. Featured above is the Manly Burger (basically a bacon cheeseburger but better), and Umami Burger serves up an assortment of specialty burgers. Crowd pleasers are the Hatch Burger, which includes delectable green onions and is on the spicier side, but if you prefer sweeter tastes, the Umami Burger is for you. Other interesting burger options include the Bone Marrow Burger and Bacon Scallop Pork Belly Burger. Amazing sweet potato fries as well! Classy burger place.

If you're feeling... like DESSERT

Candybar

1335 Fulton St

(between Broderick St & Divisadero St) 

San Francisco, CA 94117

Neighborhood: NoPa

Candybar offers an intimate setting, with great desserts, drinks and board games! Featured above is the Vanilla Brioche with Figs and Almond Ice Cream which is a customer favorite, along with Drunken S'mores and Apple Pie a la mode. Definitely worth trying and a great sweet tooth appeaser. 

Now that you've got some awesome ideas for places to take someone out to eat to, post a date now to see who'll take you up on the offer! :D Check out HowAboutADate.com and post a date today! 

If not now, then when? 

Sarah Alikhan

Social Instigator for...

HowAboutADate.com

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Do what you love... and love will find you