Ladies, waiting around and/or having a negative mindset will most likely not attract Mr. Right but rather Mr. Whatever. Instead, picking up a more positive attitude, adjusting expectations and detecting destructive patterns regarding your partner choice might just do the trick.
Start thinking positively and open your mind
If you haven’t found the perfect partner yet it doesn’t always mean that you’re stuck in cupid’s blind spot. Maybe - to quote a famous poet – there are two souls dwelling in your breast: although you would really love to be in a relationship you fear closeness and commitment since you’re afraid of getting hurt (again). Thus, your subconscious will lead you to pick the wrong guy over kind hearted Prince Charming who is right for you and right in front of you. And when you do that over and over again the sum of your bad experiences will leave you with an even more negative mindset and more insecurities when it comes to falling in love. To blame men as a unitary group or a third party (cupid, fate, God(s), your zodiac sign…) is much easier than taking the time to assess your own morale on the dating field. Forget your chemistry classes where they taught you that a negative charged particle (you) ultimately attracts a positive charged one (Mr. Right). In life and love, a positive attitude will eventually attract positive people, good people. Also, don’t get caught up in an overly detailed description of your dreamboat concerning his looks and status: height, eye and hair color or his profession, etc. they don’t really matter if he shares your passion for horror movies and holds your hand during the scary (and non-scary) scenes. Many singles tend to exclude potential partners if they don’t match the exact vision they have created in their head, nipping unexpected love in the bud.
Look out for similarities
"Two birds of a feather flock together“ or “opposites attract” - which one is true? Most of the times, both apply at the same time. People tend to feel drawn to people that are different from them. Subconsciously, they’re looking for someone who completes their personality - that is, somebody who features qualities that they might lack or that they admire. If you are a lively and adventurous woman, you might need a calm guy who is less likely to take risks and brings you back to earth. Sometimes, however, differences can also cause conflicts. If basic attitudes, life styles and life goals diverge greatly, the relationship may have little chance of survival. Someone who leads a life style that is very foreign and new to you might appear more exciting than the guy across the hall who uses the same eco-friendly laundry detergent and watches the same TV channels to fall asleep at night. As much as you’re attracted to your opposite, partners who share a lot of similarities and equal beliefs will lead a happier and healthier relationship in the long run. Little differences that don’t disrupt the overall harmony can be inspiring and refreshing but be sure that your decisions are driven by the same core values and that you agree on the direction you’re headed into.
Create opportunities and become more active
Let’s be honest, waiting around and expecting him to knock on your door one day only happens in movies. You have to leave your house/work in order to meet him. Even if you are a notorious homebody, you should pick up as many (fun) activities as possible. Nonetheless, the chances that you meet Mr. Right in a yoga course or knitting club are rather low. Thus, choose activities that you love and that are most likely to attract all kinds of genders. Maybe a wine tasting event, a sailing course or joining a hiking group would be a good idea. Start going to networking events and join workshops that deal with topics that interest or move you. You could also take your four-legged friend to a dog park (borrow one if you have to) and socialize with other dog enthusiasts. People usually start bonding over a common passion or hobby which usually serves as a great conversation starter. Even if you just extend your circle of acquaintances – most couples meet through mutual friends. At the end of the day you’ll enjoy what you do and attract the right kind of people…and maybe even fall in love.
