Dating is much like a job.  There is typically some sort of interview process that we must go through before being accepted as a candidate.  Once you've gotten the job, the real fun can begin!  The beginning of a relationship is usually full of fond memories and romantic outings.  Some relationships continue to have these amazing times and continue to blossom, always presenting new twists to spark the relationship.  Others dwindle and die... Sometimes a breakup can be an easy process with two accepting parties while other times it's more difficult and even hostile.  Depending on the person, some people are ready for the breakup and are able to move on rather quickly and cleanly.  On the other hand, some relationships leave a mark and are more difficult to get past.

Dating after being in a relationship can be one of the most difficult things to motivate yourself to do.  I see it as there are two different scenarios.  You're either ready to be free and just have fun or you're unable to let go of the past and just want to seclude yourself and avoid contact with anyone that may be a potential partner.  When people are getting back into the dating scene after a tough breakup, their friends are typically invaluable as pillars of support.  If your friends aren't very supportive of you it makes the process much more difficult and effects your confidence moving forward. 

The best thing to do is to just get out and meet new people.  You don't have to be looking for a relationship, or even someone to flirt with.  It's just good to get out and make new friends and meet new people and it'll help keep your mind off of your ex.  Before you know it you'll have some new friends, new options, and will be happy and moved on.

Arthur G. Bahr

Dating can be nerve racking, which is why we at HowAboutADate.com believe in activity based dating to avoid the pressures and awkwardness of traditional dating.  Although you may be doing an activity that you’re both passionate about, there still need to be conversation.  Some conversation may come naturally and flow while other times may have some “awkward” moments.  I’ve provided several topics and tips below to help you spark a good conversation and keep the ball rolling!  It’s important to note though that you should never ask really personal questions or dig around someone’s past relationships on the first or even 2^nd or 3^rd dates.   If someone wants to talk about their past relationships or really personal things they will bring it up themselves.

This article also goes hand in hand with an earlier article I wrote on The Importance of Communication.

Tips:

Keep the conversation moving but don’t pry into anything personal or the past

Don’t vent or get carried away with certain topics

Don’t just wait for your turn to talk, be genuinely interested in the conversation and person

Topics:

Where have you traveled or want to travel?

Do you enjoy your job? What do you do? Would you rather be doing anything else?

Where is your favorite hangout?

What are some of your hobbies or interests?

What type of music do you listen to?

Do you have any siblings? Are you close to your family?

What’s your favorite movie of all time (or one of your favorites) and why?

Do you have a nickname and what’s the story behind it?

These topics are all good for conversation but there are plenty more out there.  It’s good to avoid questions that can have a “yes or no” question as those can easily cool off a conversation.

You can find more tips for communicating and dating in my article Just the Tips of the Iceberg.

Arthur G. Bahr

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